Hi! So sadly I don't know how to make any kind of feed thing from the other blog. But we do update DAILY now so you can count on that at least?
Toby updated tonight and I thought it was pretty good!
I still don't know how to "insert links" :(
http://www.throng.co.nz/shortland-street/shortland-street-november-16-midnight-tricycle-mystery
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
ANNOUNCEMENT
Oh hey, we've decamped to throng.co.nz, where the blog is inexplicably currently under "wanted for TV 5". Jesus, I don't know.
All new blog updates (and hopefully some lovely people!) will be visible HERE from now on
Oh yeah also we can't swear anymore. Which I guess is okay. Not for me though. I am a very, very angry person.
Hey Leigh Peters, thanks for being the most recent follower of our blog. Sorry, but you've wasted your time. Sincerest apologies! We love you!
All new blog updates (and hopefully some lovely people!) will be visible HERE from now on
Oh yeah also we can't swear anymore. Which I guess is okay. Not for me though. I am a very, very angry person.
Hey Leigh Peters, thanks for being the most recent follower of our blog. Sorry, but you've wasted your time. Sincerest apologies! We love you!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
TK is sad and this episode is boring
On Saturday night we saw Ido Drent aka Daniel Potts coming out of sweet mother's kitchen on Courtenay Place. I hope he had the curly fries. I was very starstruck. Like, way too starstruck for Daniel Potts. If I ever see a real celebrity I will probably flip my wig. Anyway, he was wearing a funny wee skinny red scarf and making these weird whooping noises. He is rather short too, which I didn't know. So now whenever I am watching the show I notice that they frame him so he doesn't look so miniature. He was with a girl. She looked pretty smug. I was carrying a bag full of eclairs and was in my work uniform. I was not smug.
Anyway, tonight we open our scenes with some crap about that Rafe guy being "a fox" to quote Wendy. Tania and Wendy go to check out said fox and he still thinks Tania is a hottie. Wendy is all "jealous!" and I am all "kill me please". It's good stuff.
Rachel wants Sophie of all people to be her PA. I can see why, imagine her CV
early 2010-later 2010: Owner of my dead husband's bar. Ran it into the ground.
Reasons for leaving: See above, had nervous breakdown
Referee: My dad, Callum or maybe this guy Brodie who I may have boned. References available on request.
2009-2010- Some kind of journalist/student
Reason for leaving: Seduced my lecturer, got stalked by lecturer, dropped out
Referee: Maybe the lecturer Ash. He may be dead or in jail?
2008-2009- High school student? Head girl!
Hire me please! I am a widow!
Callum however isn't excited about the idea of sad-sack Sophie working for the hospital "it will seem like I am hiring my daughter". Yes, it seems that way because that is EXACTLY how it is.
Anyway, TK dumps Jennifer's arse in the middle of her shift and leaves her sobbing in her exam room. Tracey comforts her in the ambulance bay and Jennifer is all "DON'T BE NICE TO ME!" she has serious issues.
Brooke is bummed out cos she lost her "one and only female friend" Rachel to the whole Chris/Rachel/2IC job hooha.
For reasons unknown Tania and Durville are hanging out with Wendy at the bar? I guess its cos Murray now works at the bar and Wendy likes to hang out waiting for her non fox man to finish up his shift. I bet she calls him "hubby". I hate when people call their husbands "hubby" the same goes for "bubby" for babies. And I am really getting angry about this newly popular trend of saying that you are doing something "just casually" or "casual-like". It drives me mad. Clearly, I have a very low tolerance for things. I should work on that.
Back at Rafe's hospital bed Wendy, some other nurse and an extra whose head is constantly out of shot are busy being regaled with tales of scaling K2. Wendy is disgustingly smitten. Tania is bored to sleep with his tall stories.
Tania is all "story time is over, bitches" and Wendy shrieks "But he's just getting to the good bit!". No wonder Wendy is like 50 years old and has never risen to the giddy heights of charge nurse, she is a lazy, stupid waste of space.
Isaac traps Rachel and Callum into attending a soiree at Isaac/Chris' house where he proceeds to make snide innuendos about Rachel and Chris boning. Isaac then tries to blackmail Rachel into giving him a payrise (cos he can't survive on $100,000 a year) and Rachel storms out of the party leaving Callum following bemused in her fiery wake.
Meanwhile, Sarah decides to go off with bad accent guy to Boston where she will research some MS. Tracey skulks in the kitchen with too much knowledge about TK and Jennifer and Sarah in her little head. Where is Scotty? That girl needs to get boned good and proper.
TK shows up at Tracey's door asking for Sarah. Tracey is all "come in have a cuppa!" and then when TK starts rambling on about how much he wants to bang Sarah Tracey makes her guilty little face and TK is all "what? what do you know?" and Tracey bellows "NOTHING! LET'S TALK ABOUT RUGBY! THE WORLD CUP!". She is a master of conversation!
TK worms the truth out of Tracey and TK is all devastated. He hasn't got a lot of chance to use the patented TK laugh this episode. Depressed TK is maybe more bearable, though less screenshot worthy than charming lothario TK.
Back at Rachel/Callum central Rachel is busy spilling her guts about the whole Chris kiss affair. Callum expresses his feelings
He is all "please don't touch me" and then suddenly the episode ends? Its actually really weird and unexpected. Caught me off guard in the middle of my roast lamb.
But check out this dapper Callum advertising shot thing! Can you say "silver fox?"
Anyway, tonight we open our scenes with some crap about that Rafe guy being "a fox" to quote Wendy. Tania and Wendy go to check out said fox and he still thinks Tania is a hottie. Wendy is all "jealous!" and I am all "kill me please". It's good stuff.
Rachel wants Sophie of all people to be her PA. I can see why, imagine her CV
early 2010-later 2010: Owner of my dead husband's bar. Ran it into the ground.
Reasons for leaving: See above, had nervous breakdown
Referee: My dad, Callum or maybe this guy Brodie who I may have boned. References available on request.
2009-2010- Some kind of journalist/student
Reason for leaving: Seduced my lecturer, got stalked by lecturer, dropped out
Referee: Maybe the lecturer Ash. He may be dead or in jail?
2008-2009- High school student? Head girl!
Hire me please! I am a widow!
Callum however isn't excited about the idea of sad-sack Sophie working for the hospital "it will seem like I am hiring my daughter". Yes, it seems that way because that is EXACTLY how it is.
Anyway, TK dumps Jennifer's arse in the middle of her shift and leaves her sobbing in her exam room. Tracey comforts her in the ambulance bay and Jennifer is all "DON'T BE NICE TO ME!" she has serious issues.
Brooke is bummed out cos she lost her "one and only female friend" Rachel to the whole Chris/Rachel/2IC job hooha.
For reasons unknown Tania and Durville are hanging out with Wendy at the bar? I guess its cos Murray now works at the bar and Wendy likes to hang out waiting for her non fox man to finish up his shift. I bet she calls him "hubby". I hate when people call their husbands "hubby" the same goes for "bubby" for babies. And I am really getting angry about this newly popular trend of saying that you are doing something "just casually" or "casual-like". It drives me mad. Clearly, I have a very low tolerance for things. I should work on that.
Back at Rafe's hospital bed Wendy, some other nurse and an extra whose head is constantly out of shot are busy being regaled with tales of scaling K2. Wendy is disgustingly smitten. Tania is bored to sleep with his tall stories.
Tania is all "story time is over, bitches" and Wendy shrieks "But he's just getting to the good bit!". No wonder Wendy is like 50 years old and has never risen to the giddy heights of charge nurse, she is a lazy, stupid waste of space.
Isaac traps Rachel and Callum into attending a soiree at Isaac/Chris' house where he proceeds to make snide innuendos about Rachel and Chris boning. Isaac then tries to blackmail Rachel into giving him a payrise (cos he can't survive on $100,000 a year) and Rachel storms out of the party leaving Callum following bemused in her fiery wake.
Meanwhile, Sarah decides to go off with bad accent guy to Boston where she will research some MS. Tracey skulks in the kitchen with too much knowledge about TK and Jennifer and Sarah in her little head. Where is Scotty? That girl needs to get boned good and proper.
TK shows up at Tracey's door asking for Sarah. Tracey is all "come in have a cuppa!" and then when TK starts rambling on about how much he wants to bang Sarah Tracey makes her guilty little face and TK is all "what? what do you know?" and Tracey bellows "NOTHING! LET'S TALK ABOUT RUGBY! THE WORLD CUP!". She is a master of conversation!
TK worms the truth out of Tracey and TK is all devastated. He hasn't got a lot of chance to use the patented TK laugh this episode. Depressed TK is maybe more bearable, though less screenshot worthy than charming lothario TK.
Back at Rachel/Callum central Rachel is busy spilling her guts about the whole Chris kiss affair. Callum expresses his feelings
He is all "please don't touch me" and then suddenly the episode ends? Its actually really weird and unexpected. Caught me off guard in the middle of my roast lamb.
But check out this dapper Callum advertising shot thing! Can you say "silver fox?"
Saturday, November 6, 2010
NOVEMBER 5: WANT MORE DR PEPPER
Sometimes in life, things are going too easy. You're feeling real happy with yourself and it's real good, and then you remember why you're happy: you're happy because you haven't watched Shortland St in more than a week.
It's lucky for you readers that being happy makes me uncomfortable. Happiness means I've reached a pinnacle, and the only place one can go from the top is downhill. This is my downhill. This is Shortland Street.
There's a lot to catch up on since last time I blogged about the show. Basically, Sophie's still bummed about ruining two peoples' lives in one swoop, there's some kind of subterfuge going on regarding some hot new "2IC" position at the hospital, and as predicted a few weeks ago, Sarah's MS has reared its ugly head once more.
... and we're off to a flying start. I'm greeted back from my Shortland Street hiatus with this face:
as Tania helpfully reminds us that it's Guy Fawkes Day. It's worth noting she's one of those cretins that pronounces "yes" with a U instead of an E.
Sarah's been offered an MS-specific job in Boston, and tells Daniel (and the audience) all about it. I saw Daniel on the street last night. The actor, I mean. He probably wasn't in character. He was wearing a rather fabulous scarf.
Because TK's a god damned creep, he's doing some pretty intense research into Sarah's new job. Remember how they broke up for seemingly no reason whatsoever? Yeah I bet that storyline's about to be reintroduced.
For whatever reason, Callum is helming an angry meeting between Brodie and smouldering new bar manager Murray:
It mostly consists of the two yelling about some bullshit while Callum moves his mouth around, like a camel chewing or something.
Then some weird yellow-haired old lady makes her acting debut in the foreground of this strangely framed scene, where creepy glasses doctor buys Tania a snack from the cafe:
Sophie's just chilling around the hospital being a massive downer to everyone she meets. All ruining Bella's day and so on. Callum's grumpy about the bar. Then Sophie does some serious sad-sack acting
Creepy glasses bald doctor gets Tania's keys out of her car via taxidermy tools, somehow? Aren't most car locks electronic these days? Pretty sure you can't open them with scalpels and tweezers, but it works all the same. Tania's real impressed, and this is one of those moments where I wish I could post video clips because usually Tania actor's pretty coy, doesn't want to overdo things, but she really throws herself into her amazement of glasses doctor's lock picking skill:
We cut to the IV bar, where creepy bald glasses doctor wants a lime and soda. Hunter, out of nowhere, yells "COOL!" and then we learn that glasses doctor's brother Rafael (seriously?) is an "Indiana Jones styles" hot-air balloonist who is going to break some kind of record. I hope this means we get a dashing new character?
Then Callum strolls in and announces he's taking over running of the bar from Sophie. Which is probably good, because I don't think 18 year olds should own bars, and it's entirely appropriate for hospital CEOs to moonlight as pub managers.
Sarah sees TK coming into her office, and is thrilled because she wants to eat him:
Then TK's all, "oh yeah babe that job you want, the people who run it are from Scott-Speir". Remember that? It's okay if you don't, because it's a storyline that finished like FIVE YEARS AGO. Jesus Christ.
Doctor creepy glasses' ballooneering brother is being rushed to hospital with "serious injuries". Which I think means "broken leg". Life or death stuff!
Pretty sure every character's first scene should involve them lying down and screaming into an oxygen mask:
Sarah then reminds Daniel (and the audience) of that dreadfully shitty Scott-Spier storyline, which seems to have been just a bunch of middle-aged minor characters suffering car bombs. Apparently they killed foetus-faced temptress Toni too? Didn't she die like two years later of a mystery disease?
Anyway then Daniel reintroduces the TK/Sarah love connection storyline, but says there's "no way" TK still loves Sarah - "not after what you did to him". I'm not sure what she did to him, but that's not a very nice thing to say to your mother.
Back at the bar, Brodie says he and Murray need to come up with a new, wholly original idea. Something no one else is doing. His idea? Turn the IV into a sports bar. Fuck.
OnDemand is running this awful ad, which is all "in a perfect world, everything would be free and ATMs would be infinite money dispensers." Pretty sure if everything were free, money would be totally useless. This is bullshit, BNZ!
The guy who's offering Sarah her job barely even opens his mouth when he talks, also he thinks it's okay to be employed by murderers because he's "a great believer in thinking laterally". Well, as long as he's morally consistent, I'm happy.
Isaac's operating on hot new Rafael's foot, while creepy glasses doctor watches, constantly yelling at him.
Rachel decides to console Sophie, who's still really depressed about some bullshit. Sophie uses the phrase "epic fail". Rachel is all "I was like you when I was a kid, I ran around doing a whole heap of things" and I'm serious, that's an actual line of dialogue. I hope that if I ever find myself depressed, I have someone like her to turn my life around.
Rachel's hot solution to Sophie's unbridled misery is a job at the hospital. I love how characters' lives in this show are entirely dedicated to the same four or so sets
You know what's weird? Adam's apples. I wonder what they look like, I mean, under the skin and stuff.
oh I can see where this plotline is going. Creepy glasses doctor and his brother Rafael are gonna be all competing for Tania's shitty affections. Oh hang on a minute, Rafael just asked for Tania's hand in marriage. Way to make a splash!
And that's our show. God, I hate myself.
It's lucky for you readers that being happy makes me uncomfortable. Happiness means I've reached a pinnacle, and the only place one can go from the top is downhill. This is my downhill. This is Shortland Street.
There's a lot to catch up on since last time I blogged about the show. Basically, Sophie's still bummed about ruining two peoples' lives in one swoop, there's some kind of subterfuge going on regarding some hot new "2IC" position at the hospital, and as predicted a few weeks ago, Sarah's MS has reared its ugly head once more.
... and we're off to a flying start. I'm greeted back from my Shortland Street hiatus with this face:
as Tania helpfully reminds us that it's Guy Fawkes Day. It's worth noting she's one of those cretins that pronounces "yes" with a U instead of an E.
Sarah's been offered an MS-specific job in Boston, and tells Daniel (and the audience) all about it. I saw Daniel on the street last night. The actor, I mean. He probably wasn't in character. He was wearing a rather fabulous scarf.
Because TK's a god damned creep, he's doing some pretty intense research into Sarah's new job. Remember how they broke up for seemingly no reason whatsoever? Yeah I bet that storyline's about to be reintroduced.
For whatever reason, Callum is helming an angry meeting between Brodie and smouldering new bar manager Murray:
It mostly consists of the two yelling about some bullshit while Callum moves his mouth around, like a camel chewing or something.
Then some weird yellow-haired old lady makes her acting debut in the foreground of this strangely framed scene, where creepy glasses doctor buys Tania a snack from the cafe:
Sophie's just chilling around the hospital being a massive downer to everyone she meets. All ruining Bella's day and so on. Callum's grumpy about the bar. Then Sophie does some serious sad-sack acting
Creepy glasses bald doctor gets Tania's keys out of her car via taxidermy tools, somehow? Aren't most car locks electronic these days? Pretty sure you can't open them with scalpels and tweezers, but it works all the same. Tania's real impressed, and this is one of those moments where I wish I could post video clips because usually Tania actor's pretty coy, doesn't want to overdo things, but she really throws herself into her amazement of glasses doctor's lock picking skill:
We cut to the IV bar, where creepy bald glasses doctor wants a lime and soda. Hunter, out of nowhere, yells "COOL!" and then we learn that glasses doctor's brother Rafael (seriously?) is an "Indiana Jones styles" hot-air balloonist who is going to break some kind of record. I hope this means we get a dashing new character?
Then Callum strolls in and announces he's taking over running of the bar from Sophie. Which is probably good, because I don't think 18 year olds should own bars, and it's entirely appropriate for hospital CEOs to moonlight as pub managers.
Sarah sees TK coming into her office, and is thrilled because she wants to eat him:
Then TK's all, "oh yeah babe that job you want, the people who run it are from Scott-Speir". Remember that? It's okay if you don't, because it's a storyline that finished like FIVE YEARS AGO. Jesus Christ.
Doctor creepy glasses' ballooneering brother is being rushed to hospital with "serious injuries". Which I think means "broken leg". Life or death stuff!
Pretty sure every character's first scene should involve them lying down and screaming into an oxygen mask:
Sarah then reminds Daniel (and the audience) of that dreadfully shitty Scott-Spier storyline, which seems to have been just a bunch of middle-aged minor characters suffering car bombs. Apparently they killed foetus-faced temptress Toni too? Didn't she die like two years later of a mystery disease?
Anyway then Daniel reintroduces the TK/Sarah love connection storyline, but says there's "no way" TK still loves Sarah - "not after what you did to him". I'm not sure what she did to him, but that's not a very nice thing to say to your mother.
Back at the bar, Brodie says he and Murray need to come up with a new, wholly original idea. Something no one else is doing. His idea? Turn the IV into a sports bar. Fuck.
OnDemand is running this awful ad, which is all "in a perfect world, everything would be free and ATMs would be infinite money dispensers." Pretty sure if everything were free, money would be totally useless. This is bullshit, BNZ!
The guy who's offering Sarah her job barely even opens his mouth when he talks, also he thinks it's okay to be employed by murderers because he's "a great believer in thinking laterally". Well, as long as he's morally consistent, I'm happy.
Isaac's operating on hot new Rafael's foot, while creepy glasses doctor watches, constantly yelling at him.
Rachel decides to console Sophie, who's still really depressed about some bullshit. Sophie uses the phrase "epic fail". Rachel is all "I was like you when I was a kid, I ran around doing a whole heap of things" and I'm serious, that's an actual line of dialogue. I hope that if I ever find myself depressed, I have someone like her to turn my life around.
Rachel's hot solution to Sophie's unbridled misery is a job at the hospital. I love how characters' lives in this show are entirely dedicated to the same four or so sets
You know what's weird? Adam's apples. I wonder what they look like, I mean, under the skin and stuff.
oh I can see where this plotline is going. Creepy glasses doctor and his brother Rafael are gonna be all competing for Tania's shitty affections. Oh hang on a minute, Rafael just asked for Tania's hand in marriage. Way to make a splash!
And that's our show. God, I hate myself.
Friday, October 29, 2010
OCTOBER 29: YOUR FRIDAY
Last time on Shortland St we had Scotty having some kind of sweet panic attack in a lift, replete with chilling flashbacks to the time he got beaten up, abducted and shot by Penny, who was like half his size:
Anyway he flips out in an elevator and kind of tumbles out the doors when they open, and Tracey seems frankly quite disgusted with the whole affair - her reaction to her mentally ill fiance is comparable to her reaction to spilling the milk or something:
Anyway he rolls around on the floor for a while and it's pretty neat.
The IV bar got a bad review from some real slug-looking guy who wanted to mack on Brodie or something, but a rudimentary internet search by Sophie reveals that the reviewer was actually the brother of rival bar owner "Dante". Which is a pretty incompetent cover-up from the evil bar/newspaper syndicate, but whatever
Oh yeah also it turns out "Dante", whose actual name is Tristan, was up on charges in Christchurch for spiking drinks and groping babes. Probably the all time worst news story ever - notice whoever wrote it spelt "trial" wrong:
Tania and Jennifer live together, Tania's not happy about Jennifer seeing TK, I guess. I don't know, there's a pretty awkward and poorly executed locker scene which seems to be in the episode just so we can get some mild Tania nudity:
man Jennifer looks hungry there
Tracey and Sarah are very concerned for the newly crazy Scotty:
Sophie decides to get Dante/Tristan bad press via gossip columists
I'm sorry, this is just a really tedious episode
OK seriously, this episode is actually just the Tania peep show:
We're treated to a weirdly long segment of Tania dancing around in her underwear (her head cropped out of frame) when TK arrives. AWKWARDD. Then Jennifer pops in to find TK chilling with a half-naked Tania for maximum shitty drama purposes
Post-breakup Sarah moves in with Scotty and Tracey, and she's in the door like all of five seconds before she starts ordering Scotty around. No wonder Maxwell cheated on and promptly dumped her.
Speak of the devil, Maxwell opens the next scene, standing around his apartment by himself for some reason when Vasa stops by and they waste my time and everyone else's
Maxwell and Jennifer are having a romantic dinner while what sounds like the Mr Whippy song plays in the background. GUHHH for once I think this scene might be intentionally awkward though? TK wants to get laid but Jennifer is all ON THE ROAD BUCKO and off he goes
Scotty feels bad about not making Sarah feel welcome. Pretty sure Sarah's the one who walked in and was like "YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING DOCTOR'S ORDERS GO TO A PSYCHIATRIST" completely unprompted
Sophie feels remorse about going to the gossip magazines about Dante's rapey past, but there are more extras in the IV bar than ever. So nobody should complain, probably
Ula's sulky and sullen. Families on television are serious dead weight, let me tell you. Maxwell repeatedly demands a hug from her and she finally makes good. I don't see what relevance this has to anything.
Dante's brother the slug-like restaurant reviewer is at the IV getting grumpy at Sophie. Turns out he and Dante both got fired from their respective jobs, and also he has trouble talking and keeping his eyes open at the same time:
He gets pretty worked up and starts waving his head around like a braying sea lion, and is making such a commotion Daniel has to come in and forcibly eject him from the bar:
Jennifer's all "oh yeah I wanna bone TK I guess" to Tania, then Brooke comes in and delivers this baffling monologue about how "better woman than you have tried and failed" to get a "ring back on that finger" and the scene is actually about as bewildering as this sentence
Ohman, I just realised the TV2 synopsis for this episode says "Scotty faces his toughest enemy". Could his toughest enemy be HIMSELF????
The synopsis also says Sophie confronts a monster. Could that monster be HERSELF???
Probably.
Yeah she's real bummed about getting Dante and slug reviewer fired. Daniel comforts her. Pretty sure he's gonna stick it to her again pretty soon
Meanwhile, what happened to Yvonne? Is she still on the show? I mean don't get me wrong, I have no problem with her being banished forever, but I haven't seen her weirdly pumpkin-shaped face around the show at all lately and it's bumming me out. Sort of.
Anyway he flips out in an elevator and kind of tumbles out the doors when they open, and Tracey seems frankly quite disgusted with the whole affair - her reaction to her mentally ill fiance is comparable to her reaction to spilling the milk or something:
Anyway he rolls around on the floor for a while and it's pretty neat.
The IV bar got a bad review from some real slug-looking guy who wanted to mack on Brodie or something, but a rudimentary internet search by Sophie reveals that the reviewer was actually the brother of rival bar owner "Dante". Which is a pretty incompetent cover-up from the evil bar/newspaper syndicate, but whatever
Oh yeah also it turns out "Dante", whose actual name is Tristan, was up on charges in Christchurch for spiking drinks and groping babes. Probably the all time worst news story ever - notice whoever wrote it spelt "trial" wrong:
Tania and Jennifer live together, Tania's not happy about Jennifer seeing TK, I guess. I don't know, there's a pretty awkward and poorly executed locker scene which seems to be in the episode just so we can get some mild Tania nudity:
man Jennifer looks hungry there
Tracey and Sarah are very concerned for the newly crazy Scotty:
Sophie decides to get Dante/Tristan bad press via gossip columists
I'm sorry, this is just a really tedious episode
OK seriously, this episode is actually just the Tania peep show:
We're treated to a weirdly long segment of Tania dancing around in her underwear (her head cropped out of frame) when TK arrives. AWKWARDD. Then Jennifer pops in to find TK chilling with a half-naked Tania for maximum shitty drama purposes
Post-breakup Sarah moves in with Scotty and Tracey, and she's in the door like all of five seconds before she starts ordering Scotty around. No wonder Maxwell cheated on and promptly dumped her.
Speak of the devil, Maxwell opens the next scene, standing around his apartment by himself for some reason when Vasa stops by and they waste my time and everyone else's
Maxwell and Jennifer are having a romantic dinner while what sounds like the Mr Whippy song plays in the background. GUHHH for once I think this scene might be intentionally awkward though? TK wants to get laid but Jennifer is all ON THE ROAD BUCKO and off he goes
Scotty feels bad about not making Sarah feel welcome. Pretty sure Sarah's the one who walked in and was like "YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING DOCTOR'S ORDERS GO TO A PSYCHIATRIST" completely unprompted
Sophie feels remorse about going to the gossip magazines about Dante's rapey past, but there are more extras in the IV bar than ever. So nobody should complain, probably
Ula's sulky and sullen. Families on television are serious dead weight, let me tell you. Maxwell repeatedly demands a hug from her and she finally makes good. I don't see what relevance this has to anything.
Dante's brother the slug-like restaurant reviewer is at the IV getting grumpy at Sophie. Turns out he and Dante both got fired from their respective jobs, and also he has trouble talking and keeping his eyes open at the same time:
He gets pretty worked up and starts waving his head around like a braying sea lion, and is making such a commotion Daniel has to come in and forcibly eject him from the bar:
Jennifer's all "oh yeah I wanna bone TK I guess" to Tania, then Brooke comes in and delivers this baffling monologue about how "better woman than you have tried and failed" to get a "ring back on that finger" and the scene is actually about as bewildering as this sentence
Ohman, I just realised the TV2 synopsis for this episode says "Scotty faces his toughest enemy". Could his toughest enemy be HIMSELF????
The synopsis also says Sophie confronts a monster. Could that monster be HERSELF???
Probably.
Yeah she's real bummed about getting Dante and slug reviewer fired. Daniel comforts her. Pretty sure he's gonna stick it to her again pretty soon
Meanwhile, what happened to Yvonne? Is she still on the show? I mean don't get me wrong, I have no problem with her being banished forever, but I haven't seen her weirdly pumpkin-shaped face around the show at all lately and it's bumming me out. Sort of.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Welcome to the show yet another useless Cooper family member
Okay so a lot of stuff has been going on since we blogged last! Since I am meant to be marking 20 essays I really am going to have to do a quick recap here okay? Okay? Don't hate me. So these are some of the things that have been going down:
Brodie and Bella are going steady and want to move in together. Brodie threw an Oktoberfest party at the IV to get $$$ flowing in but instead he just got to dress up like an idiot and get Bella's bust out for the bar to see.
We finally got to meet good old useless Murray Cooper, who is a truly horrible character and I hate him. He is all gruff and mean and for some reason thinks that Bella could do better than Brodie. Which is patently untrue. The girl's a moron. Brodie and Bella are basically the perfect match. Anyway, at the Oktoberfest Brodie managed to put Murray in a headlock and now he is trying to make it up to the entire disgusting Cooper clan by making them dinner at their horrible industrial flat.
Meanwhile, Ula is in love with Daniel who is also moving into the Hunter/Bella/Brodie flat.
Maxwell has dumped both Sarah and Vasa and made Vasa cry big fat Vasa tears and I cheered. Sarah tried to go whore it back with TK but TK only wants to stick it to boring new doctor Jennifer and he slams the door in her crumpled face.
Isaac owes money on some yacht that he ruined when his yacht smashed into it during that storm and so he is picking up lots of shifts. Its a very boring storyline which I hope is going somewhere fast. Hopefully towards steamy sex scenes with Brooke on a broken yacht/Chris's double bed.
Murray, it turns out makes (or doesn't make as the case may be) his filthy lucre by both building houses ethically and by being some kind of hospitality king. Which I don't buy for one second given that he is the least hospitable and one of the most disagreeable characters I have ever seen on this show. Anyway, the plot line here is visible a mile off because as we predict, and as materialises, Murray is given Brodie's job at the tragic IV and Brodie is demoted to bar staff. But not before Brodie yells at Murray and tells him basically to fuck right off and let him stick it to Bella whenever and wherever they want. This storyline will SUCK. WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET SOME SERIAL KILLERS OR SOMETHING? This shit pales in comparison to the whole Ferndale Strangler storyline which to me epitomises great Shortland Street storytelling and business smarts using the one storyline to kill off a whole bunch of past it characters in satisfying and gruesome ways.
OH NO TK!LOOK AT YOUR HAIR! ALSO, A CORPSE IN A DUMPSTER!
Remember how they had those alternative endings for the Joey killer finale? The one with Callum and Justine was the best! They killed Tania and boy was it delicious!
I don't know if you can be bothered watching a 13minute 2007 Shortland Street clip BUT if you do check out all of these funny hairdos! TK! Scotty! Yvonne looking like she's wearing a Beatle's scalp. Callum's weird orange face! Shanti speaking in her Indian accent! And if you do make it past 8mins you should absolutely check out the weird TK/Sarah scene where Sarah is acting like a blind woman for the entire scene. Its really really weird.
Anyway, the time of Shortland Street heydays is past and we are back to the fucking Coopers and their trivial non-serial killing dramas. Brodie drops pasta all over Wendy! Brodie wears lederhosen!
It's no Claire getting dumped in the bin, that's for sure.
Daniel wears this ridiculous jacket:
Ula tries to mack onto Daniel but ends up hiding in Brodie's bed half naked due to a hilarious series of errors. Murray and the whole damned Cooper tribe find her and think Brodie is a Ula-sexing criminal. That horrible Cooper boy-child is back sneering and chewing his way through the scenes.
Hunter shows up and acts like a dick showing up Brodie all over the place. Stupid Hunter and his stupid Hunter face. He really doesn't have a lot to do these days now that his character isn't banging old ladies,modelling and getting stuck with HIV infected needles so I guess he has to take what he can get.
What else? Oh Callum enjoys his role as kind of manager of the IV, telling Sophie what to do and hiring random angry dads.
The IV would be a TERRIBLE place to work, dealing with the incompetent management of Sophie and Callum sticking his crinkly face into all your business. Where is Rachel also? Another mysteriously absent cast member no doubt drinking themselves into a stupor to forget they have to soon return to these mind-numbing "storylines".
Anyway! We end this episode with Brodie looking bewildered, Murray looking pleased as punch and the viewer feeling simultaneously soporific and murderous.
So, in honour of much better characters and storylines I will leave you with these nostalgic offerings:
"Maia Mental Part 3"
and
"Paul Holmes on Shortland Street 2010" thoughtfully uploaded by "Mckennasawhore"
To be fair, "Paul Holmes on Shortland Street 2010" is a terrible clip. But maybe you are into really shitty plays and men in drag?
Also, a big shout out to ERIN who just today landed in London for her big new life! Don't forget about us Erin! Take the city by storm! Show them Shortland Street clips as introductions to "NZ life". Actually don't, I want you to succeed.
Brodie and Bella are going steady and want to move in together. Brodie threw an Oktoberfest party at the IV to get $$$ flowing in but instead he just got to dress up like an idiot and get Bella's bust out for the bar to see.
We finally got to meet good old useless Murray Cooper, who is a truly horrible character and I hate him. He is all gruff and mean and for some reason thinks that Bella could do better than Brodie. Which is patently untrue. The girl's a moron. Brodie and Bella are basically the perfect match. Anyway, at the Oktoberfest Brodie managed to put Murray in a headlock and now he is trying to make it up to the entire disgusting Cooper clan by making them dinner at their horrible industrial flat.
Meanwhile, Ula is in love with Daniel who is also moving into the Hunter/Bella/Brodie flat.
Maxwell has dumped both Sarah and Vasa and made Vasa cry big fat Vasa tears and I cheered. Sarah tried to go whore it back with TK but TK only wants to stick it to boring new doctor Jennifer and he slams the door in her crumpled face.
Isaac owes money on some yacht that he ruined when his yacht smashed into it during that storm and so he is picking up lots of shifts. Its a very boring storyline which I hope is going somewhere fast. Hopefully towards steamy sex scenes with Brooke on a broken yacht/Chris's double bed.
Murray, it turns out makes (or doesn't make as the case may be) his filthy lucre by both building houses ethically and by being some kind of hospitality king. Which I don't buy for one second given that he is the least hospitable and one of the most disagreeable characters I have ever seen on this show. Anyway, the plot line here is visible a mile off because as we predict, and as materialises, Murray is given Brodie's job at the tragic IV and Brodie is demoted to bar staff. But not before Brodie yells at Murray and tells him basically to fuck right off and let him stick it to Bella whenever and wherever they want. This storyline will SUCK. WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET SOME SERIAL KILLERS OR SOMETHING? This shit pales in comparison to the whole Ferndale Strangler storyline which to me epitomises great Shortland Street storytelling and business smarts using the one storyline to kill off a whole bunch of past it characters in satisfying and gruesome ways.
OH NO TK!LOOK AT YOUR HAIR! ALSO, A CORPSE IN A DUMPSTER!
Remember how they had those alternative endings for the Joey killer finale? The one with Callum and Justine was the best! They killed Tania and boy was it delicious!
I don't know if you can be bothered watching a 13minute 2007 Shortland Street clip BUT if you do check out all of these funny hairdos! TK! Scotty! Yvonne looking like she's wearing a Beatle's scalp. Callum's weird orange face! Shanti speaking in her Indian accent! And if you do make it past 8mins you should absolutely check out the weird TK/Sarah scene where Sarah is acting like a blind woman for the entire scene. Its really really weird.
Anyway, the time of Shortland Street heydays is past and we are back to the fucking Coopers and their trivial non-serial killing dramas. Brodie drops pasta all over Wendy! Brodie wears lederhosen!
It's no Claire getting dumped in the bin, that's for sure.
Daniel wears this ridiculous jacket:
Ula tries to mack onto Daniel but ends up hiding in Brodie's bed half naked due to a hilarious series of errors. Murray and the whole damned Cooper tribe find her and think Brodie is a Ula-sexing criminal. That horrible Cooper boy-child is back sneering and chewing his way through the scenes.
Hunter shows up and acts like a dick showing up Brodie all over the place. Stupid Hunter and his stupid Hunter face. He really doesn't have a lot to do these days now that his character isn't banging old ladies,modelling and getting stuck with HIV infected needles so I guess he has to take what he can get.
What else? Oh Callum enjoys his role as kind of manager of the IV, telling Sophie what to do and hiring random angry dads.
The IV would be a TERRIBLE place to work, dealing with the incompetent management of Sophie and Callum sticking his crinkly face into all your business. Where is Rachel also? Another mysteriously absent cast member no doubt drinking themselves into a stupor to forget they have to soon return to these mind-numbing "storylines".
Anyway! We end this episode with Brodie looking bewildered, Murray looking pleased as punch and the viewer feeling simultaneously soporific and murderous.
So, in honour of much better characters and storylines I will leave you with these nostalgic offerings:
"Maia Mental Part 3"
and
"Paul Holmes on Shortland Street 2010" thoughtfully uploaded by "Mckennasawhore"
To be fair, "Paul Holmes on Shortland Street 2010" is a terrible clip. But maybe you are into really shitty plays and men in drag?
Also, a big shout out to ERIN who just today landed in London for her big new life! Don't forget about us Erin! Take the city by storm! Show them Shortland Street clips as introductions to "NZ life". Actually don't, I want you to succeed.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
OCTOBER 21: CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES
TOBIAS ROLLING THUNDER
I'm telling you, this is getting serious
LAST TIME ON SHORTLAND ST Maxwell was all "hey let's go to a party" and Sarah was like "nah" so Maxwell went and stuck it to Vasa. Aw jeez.
Tonight's show opens with said party, which in true Shortland Street party tradition, seems to be about five arbitrarily-chosen characters milling about someone's house:
And I gotta say, there's something weird about wearing a leather jacket inside at a party. Judging by the amount of beer left in TK's glass we can assume one of the following things:
- he came in, and immediately started downing beer, no time to take off his jacket
- he's the kind of person who likes to let people know when he's got a leather jacket
Regardless, it looks like Callum had a fight with DHB guy, who looks like Jude Law, but about 70% more gargoyle. Or something. TK has a weird heart-to-heart with Jennifer and offers her a shoulder to cry on... "anytime". Jeeeeeez.
Next we see Maxwell and Vasa in smouldering post-coital embrace, real smug and kind of gross. The worst part is Maxwell's nipple, looming large in the immediate foreground:
Uh terrible dialogue between Sarah and Daniel, who is going to a bar, and describes himself as "sonsy". For what I am sure are extremely plot-relevant reasons, it's mentioned that it's raining outside.
Meanwhile, other minor characters are having a jammin' time down at the bar:
They're using the same god damned rain-on-the-roof sound in the background of EVERY SCENE, which is real weird when you consider the bar is actually downstairs. Where's the sound coming from then? Weird.
Anyway, Sophie and Brodie decide to promote some sweet bar events like true members of today's generation - via text message and their "MyLife pages".
Maxwell then comes home and dumps Sarah, who's real chill. Just look at her crazy eyes:
They broke up because of something about TK's presence in Sarah's life, or something. Another beautiful romance, destroyed.
I want there to be a television show where every character is played by Brooke
Some teenager's come in with a munted arm, and Jennifer mysteriously puts Isaac on the case, until everyone's all "nah you do it" and then after like five scenes of deliberation she eventually says okay. I'm sure this is real crucial character building for the still-enigmatic Jennifer, but really Shortland St, there's no need to be so coy.
Then we learn the reason for the rain subplot: it was a storm, and it damaged Isaac's new boat, along with the boat next to it, and he can't afford to fix both of them. I really don't get this Isaac poverty storyline, like, how out of touch are the Shortland Street writers? He's a surgeon, for Christ's sake.
At least we get some quality Brooke out of that scene:
Shit gets awkward the next day at Sarah house, as Daniel offers Maxwell a "brew" (I guess he means coffee?) and Maxwell's all "nah" but doesn't give the true reason until Sarah enters the scene, for maximum awkwardness
Sarah's all "we might be breaking up" and Maxwell's like "oh no we ARE breakin up sister". It's pretty tragic, eerily reminiscent of that scene in the Office where David Brent begs that woman not to fire him.
Jeez, TK's like emotionally forcing himself on Jennifer. Smothering her with sensitive reminders that she can talk to him.
Callum don't want the bar to have an Oktoberfest party/is having a seizure:
but he comes around to the idea
Anyway Wendy and Vasa (my favourite double team BACK TOGETHER AGAIN) make plans to go on a Christmas camping trip together with their families. They tell Ula, who's predictably not impressed, and are all "you should have seen your face!". This is the face in question:
... which is eerily similar to every other face Ula has ever made on the show. Note to Shortland St script writers - only use lines like "you should have seen your face" when you have cast members who are capable of more than one facial expression
Anyway, their camping ruse gets laughs all round, and the world keeps turning
Jennifer's munted arm surgery is all going wrong! Cardiac arrest!
OnDemand just gave me two ads in a row. What the hell is this?
TK finds a patient wristband on the floor, and Tracey clumsily delivers a beautiful observation that "[patient wristbands] aren't meant to come off". It turns out to be the munted arm girl's bracelet, and it turns out she's allergic to medication or something. Upon this information coming through, she immediately recovers from the toxins.
Brodie wants to hold the Oktoberfest party the night after he plans it. People probably need a but more notice. It's mentioned that Sophie is a widow, which is true, and a totally bizarre thought.
Sarah reaches out to TK in her time of need, but he only has a sensitive guy heart for Jennifer, or something.
But Jesus, TK's a cool guy:
I'm guessing that girl's hospital bracelet came off because HER ARM WAS FALLING OFF. Anyway Jennifer and TK go out to for coffee, and TK makes his "aw yeah I'm smooth" face:
It then cuts to Sarah bitching to Maxwell being all "I say no to a quickie on the desk so you scoot over to Vasa's". What with her MS and her cheating heart boyfriend, her life is abject misery.
She admits to liking TK, but strangely, she calls him "DK". Which just makes me wish she had a massive, undying love for Donkey Kong. She truly is a woman smitten:
Hey remember how Sarah and TK only broke up because Brooke was still a villain at that point and was all trying to ruin them from the inside, via TK's unrelenting lust for babies? How come TK doesn't still want wall-to-wall babies? Since his desire has abated, surely it's time they gave this a second chance, right?
TK and Jennifer got their coffees to go and go on a very well-shot forest walk:
It's a pretty unbelievably shitty scene, in which Jennifer tells this terrible story about people who look like celebrities, but TK is LOVIN IT:
TK entertains himself by laughing at fatties, and then they make out for a while.
And then the credits roll.
Well, that's half an hour of my life wasted.
I'm telling you, this is getting serious
LAST TIME ON SHORTLAND ST Maxwell was all "hey let's go to a party" and Sarah was like "nah" so Maxwell went and stuck it to Vasa. Aw jeez.
Tonight's show opens with said party, which in true Shortland Street party tradition, seems to be about five arbitrarily-chosen characters milling about someone's house:
And I gotta say, there's something weird about wearing a leather jacket inside at a party. Judging by the amount of beer left in TK's glass we can assume one of the following things:
- he came in, and immediately started downing beer, no time to take off his jacket
- he's the kind of person who likes to let people know when he's got a leather jacket
Regardless, it looks like Callum had a fight with DHB guy, who looks like Jude Law, but about 70% more gargoyle. Or something. TK has a weird heart-to-heart with Jennifer and offers her a shoulder to cry on... "anytime". Jeeeeeez.
Next we see Maxwell and Vasa in smouldering post-coital embrace, real smug and kind of gross. The worst part is Maxwell's nipple, looming large in the immediate foreground:
Uh terrible dialogue between Sarah and Daniel, who is going to a bar, and describes himself as "sonsy". For what I am sure are extremely plot-relevant reasons, it's mentioned that it's raining outside.
Meanwhile, other minor characters are having a jammin' time down at the bar:
They're using the same god damned rain-on-the-roof sound in the background of EVERY SCENE, which is real weird when you consider the bar is actually downstairs. Where's the sound coming from then? Weird.
Anyway, Sophie and Brodie decide to promote some sweet bar events like true members of today's generation - via text message and their "MyLife pages".
Maxwell then comes home and dumps Sarah, who's real chill. Just look at her crazy eyes:
They broke up because of something about TK's presence in Sarah's life, or something. Another beautiful romance, destroyed.
I want there to be a television show where every character is played by Brooke
Some teenager's come in with a munted arm, and Jennifer mysteriously puts Isaac on the case, until everyone's all "nah you do it" and then after like five scenes of deliberation she eventually says okay. I'm sure this is real crucial character building for the still-enigmatic Jennifer, but really Shortland St, there's no need to be so coy.
Then we learn the reason for the rain subplot: it was a storm, and it damaged Isaac's new boat, along with the boat next to it, and he can't afford to fix both of them. I really don't get this Isaac poverty storyline, like, how out of touch are the Shortland Street writers? He's a surgeon, for Christ's sake.
At least we get some quality Brooke out of that scene:
Shit gets awkward the next day at Sarah house, as Daniel offers Maxwell a "brew" (I guess he means coffee?) and Maxwell's all "nah" but doesn't give the true reason until Sarah enters the scene, for maximum awkwardness
Sarah's all "we might be breaking up" and Maxwell's like "oh no we ARE breakin up sister". It's pretty tragic, eerily reminiscent of that scene in the Office where David Brent begs that woman not to fire him.
Jeez, TK's like emotionally forcing himself on Jennifer. Smothering her with sensitive reminders that she can talk to him.
Callum don't want the bar to have an Oktoberfest party/is having a seizure:
but he comes around to the idea
Anyway Wendy and Vasa (my favourite double team BACK TOGETHER AGAIN) make plans to go on a Christmas camping trip together with their families. They tell Ula, who's predictably not impressed, and are all "you should have seen your face!". This is the face in question:
... which is eerily similar to every other face Ula has ever made on the show. Note to Shortland St script writers - only use lines like "you should have seen your face" when you have cast members who are capable of more than one facial expression
Anyway, their camping ruse gets laughs all round, and the world keeps turning
Jennifer's munted arm surgery is all going wrong! Cardiac arrest!
OnDemand just gave me two ads in a row. What the hell is this?
TK finds a patient wristband on the floor, and Tracey clumsily delivers a beautiful observation that "[patient wristbands] aren't meant to come off". It turns out to be the munted arm girl's bracelet, and it turns out she's allergic to medication or something. Upon this information coming through, she immediately recovers from the toxins.
Brodie wants to hold the Oktoberfest party the night after he plans it. People probably need a but more notice. It's mentioned that Sophie is a widow, which is true, and a totally bizarre thought.
Sarah reaches out to TK in her time of need, but he only has a sensitive guy heart for Jennifer, or something.
But Jesus, TK's a cool guy:
I'm guessing that girl's hospital bracelet came off because HER ARM WAS FALLING OFF. Anyway Jennifer and TK go out to for coffee, and TK makes his "aw yeah I'm smooth" face:
It then cuts to Sarah bitching to Maxwell being all "I say no to a quickie on the desk so you scoot over to Vasa's". What with her MS and her cheating heart boyfriend, her life is abject misery.
She admits to liking TK, but strangely, she calls him "DK". Which just makes me wish she had a massive, undying love for Donkey Kong. She truly is a woman smitten:
Hey remember how Sarah and TK only broke up because Brooke was still a villain at that point and was all trying to ruin them from the inside, via TK's unrelenting lust for babies? How come TK doesn't still want wall-to-wall babies? Since his desire has abated, surely it's time they gave this a second chance, right?
TK and Jennifer got their coffees to go and go on a very well-shot forest walk:
It's a pretty unbelievably shitty scene, in which Jennifer tells this terrible story about people who look like celebrities, but TK is LOVIN IT:
TK entertains himself by laughing at fatties, and then they make out for a while.
And then the credits roll.
Well, that's half an hour of my life wasted.
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