OCTOBER 15: DESPERATION SETS IN

TTOOBBIIAASS

First up, thanks to whoever found this blog by googling "bitchy whore". We're sorry you didn't stay longer, but I hope you found what you were looking for anyway.

Last time on Shortland St, Bella accidentally sent off a press release about British guy, who it conspired was actually an imposter, and how he defrauded the hospital and stole $200,000 or something. And now the media is having a field day

Tonight's show starts with Hunter asking Brodie, who looks more like what Jerry Seinfeld would call an "orgy guy" with every passing day, to stop sticking to Bella so loud all night.



Anyway then Callum shows us the offending email which has alerted the nation's media to the British theft. I can guarantee you any journalist who got this would take one look and immediately think "fuck this I'm not reading that":



Also, I love how it's been (poorly) written out in full, even though it's only onscreen for like a second. Whoever had to write that has clearly made the big time

Anyway Callum's pretty grumpy at Bella about the whole affair, and she gets demoted to front desk OH HO HO

Now Isaac's whinging that he doesn't have enough money to make ends meet. This is pretty offensive, I mean he's a surgeon at a private clinic who stays for free at his brother's apparently enormous mansion. What?

Uh, Sarah's unhappy about Vasa's nursing practices or something, there's an unreasonably long shot of her smouldering gaze

Bella relates her story to Wendy, and tells her the headline on today's paper reads "idiot PA sends out wrong press release, loses job". Which probably wouldn't actually be in a newspaper in real life



Isaac has realised if he sucks he will be forced to work overtime, and earn some more sweet cash. Shortland St is here sowing the seeds for what is sure to be an unbearably shitty storyline

Now it turns out Bella sent out the wrong email because Brodie was distracting her, so Wendy takes it upon herself to physically push both Brodie and Bella into a room and yell at them:



and seriously, Brodie must be wondering what the hell he's gotten into. They're grown adults, and his girlfriend's shrill mother is yelling at him and telling him what to do? Jesus Christ, what a fucking overbearing bitch

Now Hunter's being all "oh yeah I'm almost a doctor" and acting like a smug dick all over ED and telling TK how to do things. TK is all "you're keen, also you look like a lesbian"

Can't tell if he looks more like Camp Mother or Camp Leader but Tracey DIGS IT



Callum's having a real good day, made better by Brooke:





Probably the best part about Shortland St is the extras they get to play patients. It's like they just wheel in the craziest people off the street and tell them they need to holler a bit, or something

Anyway Sarah and Vasa are still arguing about shit

Dr creepy bald glasses is onto Isaac's waste time - get paid overtime plan, so Isaac tries to throw him off by becoming all blurry and flashing chilling grimaces:



NEW PLOT POINT: HUNTER IS SLEEPY. still lesbian

Oh yeah also Callum's planning on taking the hit for the British guy fiasco on Rachel's behalf. I'm guessing he doesn't know she secretly wants to stick it to Chris ho ho ho

In an unbelievably shitty piece of direction, the new PA temp introduces a brand new character, who is clearly visible waiting to enter the scene, it's pretty great. Callum greets him by moving in for a kiss or something:



Anyway it turns out this new guy is from the DHB who didn't know about the guy stealing hospital money? What the shit? Surely the health board would be first to know/wouldn't get all their hot information from the newspapers? I hope the DHB got a serious shakeup in last week's local body elections, is all I have to say

Anyway the new guy looks pretty evil, and if you're an evil-looking person you can only either be a villain or an actor

PLOT POINT: HUNTER IS STUDYING FOR EXAMS, SLEEPY, LESBIAN

Then Sarah takes a phone call:



Everyone in this show listens to the worst music imaginable in their homes

Isaac uses cheese on toast as a signifier of poverty, but jesus has he seen the price of cheese lately? Dick. Then he repeatedly demands Brooke "put on something hot" to "go out"

Scotty wants Hunter's almost-doctor services in ED, but Hunter is sleepy!!!

Oh what the hell is this, now Sarah's having a conversation with Callum, and I am not kidding, this is actual dialogue:

[Callum offers Sarah whiskey]
Sarah: No thanks
Callum: Oh of course, I forgot, you have MS. You make it easy to forget
Sarah: I'm just lucky that my symptoms haven't been too severe and I've had long periods where I'm symptom-free, like now

WHAT THE FUCK

It's like they were like "oh we have a Sarah MS storyline coming up, let's shoehorn in the worst, most obvious exposition ever to remind viewers of her actually pretty horrible disease"

Also, Callum got suspended

Also, Hunter fell asleep on the job, and someone called Dylan might be dead, so he calls for help:



BUT IT'S TOO LATEEE and Scotty's pretty grumpy

ROLL CREDITS

Vasa is a slutty tramp and other stories

Welcome! There is a new old bag on the scene and her name is Isaac's mother. She is a snobby, snooty bitch and reminds me of an old 90s character who would hang out with Rachel McKenna's dad drinking champagne and instigating affairs.



Anyway, Isaac's mother has had a bad experience with Brooke's hustler father and Brooke is all nervous about her finding out that she is actually Brooke Marsden not Brooke Freeman.

At the hospital all the nurses are buzzing with the news that Vasa is now their boss again. Vasa is buzzing with the potentially Maxwell-humping position she has maneuvered herself into. Vasa is all hitting on Maxwell "I thought you'd be happy, I am, for various reasons" wink wink. God she is a shameful hussy! Sarah is going to be so mad!



Back at the crappiest bar in town Brodie is all happy and Sophie doesn't like it. He is all "oh yeah it was my fault Bella stood up her girlfriends last night cos she stayed over at my place HOT SEX"



Check out Sophie's dead eyes!

Brodie is all "oh it was GREAT" and Sophie doesn't like this (maybe because she still likes him or maybe because it is pretty disgusting imaging him having copious amounts of sex with Bella) and she makes this face



"Gross TMI" she says baffling about 80% of the Shortland Street middle aged ladies audience.

In walks old lady Worthington with Isaac. She LOVES Brooke BUT she doesn't know yet that Brooke's old man is a big con artist. Old Lady looks like this



Meanwhile, Tracey is whining to Scotty about his appointment of Vasa as king nurse. He doesn't really care about her opinion. He gives her this sexy kiss


She digs it. Clearly.

In the lift Isaac woos Brooke. I understand why too, look at her! She is so adorable!



In the staff room Maxwell breaks the news to Sarah that Vasa is here to stay.




That's pretty much how I feel about this Vasa return too.

Maxwell and Ula have this super long super close embrace in the hospital cafe while nerd daughter, Sarah and Wendynurse look on.



After the uncomfortably long hug Ula gifts Sarah with a pity gift,

Sarah: "Ah! The Poly Soles!"
Ula: "Yeah, they're pretty fresh"

SWEET.

Ula, it conspires, only gave Sarah the gift of Poly Soles because she feels bad that soon Maxwell will dump poor old MS Sarah and take up with hotshot Vasa. Sarah, overhearing this storms off to confront Vasa! Sarah demands, in a very highly developed code that Vasa set "ULA" straight about the whole Maxwell/Vasa future sex love sounds thing and that "ULA" shouldn't get her hopes up because Maxwell and Sarah are planning a holiday and she doesn't want things with "ULA" to get messy.


"we are planning a HOLIDAY"

Vasa doesn't like that one god damned poly sole bit



SARAH VASA WAR!!!

Over at the Bug Bar that smarmy prick of a bar manager is busy pimping out various customers for TK's enjoyment. "Here are a couple of hunnies now!" and in walk Nicole and Tania. I don't know what happened between TK and Tania? I guess they broke up? I should probably find out. I am going to assume she didn't like the cut of his jib and dumped his fine arse. Anyway, Smug Bar manager introduces TK to some extra woman who of course, as all small speaking part extras do, puts on a terrible American accent for no reason what-so-ever. TK does his TK thing and is all "can I buy you a drink, sexy". Tania sits in the corner wondering what TK would look like smothered in butter and spreadeagled on her bed.

The Bug Bar is clearly the new hot spot because now Isaac and Brooke are here! They make out in front of the smug prick bar guy and then proceed to have a huge fight because Brooke won't stop oogling piece of meat TK. They take the fight back to Brooke's place where, surprise surprise, a screaming match ends in big make out. This whole sexy fight bit is completely overplayed, I know for a FACT that never have I been in an all out verbal assault with someone only to realise mid scream that I actually want to stick it to my opponent. Anyway, the crappy romantic music plays and we go to ad break. I think Isaac and Brooke should get married though. They are kind of perfect for each other- They both make stupid facial expressions and enjoy running through money like no one's business.




IMAGINE THEIR CHILDREN?!?!

ANYWAY Brooke breaks it to old lady Worthington that her father is Grant Marsden and old lady is all "EW! YUCKS" but otherwise still likes Brooke! Good going Brooke! But wait! The course of true love doesn't run smooth! Old lady Worthington overhears Nicole and Tania having a bitchfest about how Brooke is a gold digging whore in one of the worst directed/written scenes I have ever seen. Now old lady doesn't like Brooke and wants her to get her tiny hands out of the family coffers! She promptly cuts Isaac off from the trust fund (he can only have the money once uncle Gareth or something okays it). This plot speaks to us all really, I know there have been some hairy times where my over bearing mother has stepped in to stop me spending tens of thousands on race horses and has ruined my party on a yacht plans feat. foie gras and caviar. I've been there, I feel ya Isaac.

Meanwhile, again at the nurse's station, Maxwell and Sarah have a spat about Sarah's previous Vasa lecture. Maxwell wants Sarah to keep her sticky beak out of it and Vasa lurks around the corner, oh so glad anticipating her inevitable conquest of Maxwell Mountain.

Maxwell confronts Vasa in the staff room about how they have some sexual tension but she should forget it cos he's happy sticking it to Sarah for the time being. Vasa is all "oh no! There are cracks there! And when they get so big there's no going back, you know where I'll be. Here. Waiting". THAT HUSSY!

FINALLY back at Chris house (where is Chris by the way? I guess he too is on ANNUAL LEAVE) old lady Worthington is laying down the law to Isaac about the whole money situation. She tells him his "spendthrift days are over". And you know, if me of like 2 months ago was told this I would be pleased because up until then I thought that "spendthrift" meant someone who scrimps and saves. That's what is sounds like right!?!? But no. Isaac is more educated than me and he knows what the word means.



And there we have it. The nation, caught up in the classic/everyman problem of what to do when your stinking rich family makes you live on just your surgeon's salary. Jeez! I hope he makes it! GST went up you know!

The mid-year doldrums: plots about bandaids and charge nurse promotions

SORRY IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE BLOGGED. I got all caught up in watching Mulholland drive and have spent the last 2 weeks trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.

So anyway, it seems that a LOT has been going on since I last saw Shortland Street! Vasa and Maxwell have big lusty feelings? Daniel Potts is back and got bitten by a snake and Ula thinks he is a STUD MUFFIN. Maia is the next on the rotating annual leave mid year roster after TK and Tania so she is off doing something to do with post-natal depression. So Nicole is being charge nurse? This is making Tania mad cos she is all "I SHOULD BE THE CHARGE NURSE!" and so Scotty has to choose between the girlfriend of the charge nurse or the sister of the charge nurse. This is not a very professional workplace in my opinion. Too much inter-mixing.

Oh yeah, there is a bunch of bullshit going on with the IV where Sophie is still running the business into the ground (this is why you don't let 18 year olds own bars) and some new bar "The Bug Bar" which is kicking the IV's arse and making Brodie and Sophie sad about how they both suck at their jobs and probably shouldn't have given up on their dreams of doctorhood and reporterdom respectively to work in a dead-man's bar desperately trying to get Luke Durville and Bella to drink hot cocktails during the day.

I think that's all that has been going on really.

OKAY! So we open at the nurse's station where Nicole is demonstrating her awesome management skills by yelling at Wendy and in general being a bossy bitch. Tracey calls her out on it and Wendy suddenly grows some balls and calls Nicole a "bossy britches". OOOH BURN! Nicole is all bummed out because she liked it when she was the fun loving one not the hated one and so she puts her thinking cap on so she can figure out a way of being both popular and a productive charge nurse. ARGH BORING.

Anyway, so Brodie tried to sabotage the bug bar by sticking a bandaid in his food but he was caught on security footage and so the boss of this bug bar - this smug prick here whose name is incidentally Dante

is all mad at Sophie and accuses her of sending Brodie to do her dirty business.

Sophie vehemently denies this suggestion


And smug prick from the Bug Bar is all "if you ever come near my bar again I will give this footage to the police (?)" but he won't nark on them just yet because, in true smug prick fashion he would rather watch the IV "go down the gurgler one day at a time". Them's fighting words smug prick!

Meanwhile, across the road at the hospital cafe Ula, Maxwell and VASA are having smoothies and discussing whether Ula and Vasa will stay on in Ferndale or move back to Wellington. Maxwell is all "stay! go! live in wellington! (NO THANKS!!!!we don't want you here!) or stay here in Auckland, whatever! do what you like ladies!". You know, if Maxwell was a responsible father he would look at the statistics and be all "you know. If you stay here there is about a 60% likelihood one or both of you will be murdered and a 100% likelihood you will both work at the fucking hospital at some point". But no, he is all chilled. Ula is all "sorry mum. I know you have the hots for dad. Sorry he doesn't want to stick it to you as much as you want to stick it to him. Sucks to be you" etc.

Back at the shittiest bar in town Sophie is busy being a mean boss to Brodie. Bella wants to stick up for him to Sophie and look at how tall Bella is/How short Sophie is! Sitting on a stool AND slouching Bella is still the same height at tiny tiny angry Sophie! I hope that these girls have sent in their hobbit/giant CVs to Peter Jackson.



At the hospital Wendynurse is bustling around with her weird pumpkin face when her nerdy daughter stumbles in demanding that Wendynurse abandons her post and comes as a parent helper on some shitty school trip to the planetarium. Surely they don't require parent helpers, they are like 16 years old! I would be all "fuck off nerd-offspring. I have shit to do! What about your out of work father, MURRAY who, according to previous plotlines, has no job and all the time in the world to supervise your trip to the Planetarium!".



But Nicole!SuperNurse! comes to the rescue and sends Wendy on her jolly way to the Planetarium. She will find someone to cover the shift for she is SuperNurse!

In the staff room Maxwell encounters Sarah who is all "shut up Maxwell! I am reading my magazine!" and he is all "oh sweetheart, I think we should have a break" and she screeches back "THAT'S WHAT I AM DOING!" and he is all "no no like a holiday you stupid tramp!". And then this happens




Good lord! This is horrifying! When I printscreened this I gave myself the biggest fright! It is like looking in the face of evil.

Bella is still working as Callums PA or whatever and doing a sterling job of it by the looks of it.



She tells Callum about how Sophie is running the bar into the ground and so Callum storms down to the IV to sort out his daughter's business. As you do. She is all "I should fire the guy who I am angry at!" and Brodie is all "GULP! THAT'S ME!". He breaks a beer bottle and she sends him home with his tail between his legs.

Back at the hospital Nicole and Tania are bitching at each other about how shit they are "what kind of team player are you!?" "what kind of manager are YOU!?" etc. Scotty is all "ladies shut the fuck up. I am investigating our options". They are both grumpy but Tania is all "hell yes I am going to be the new charge nurse!". DON'T COUNT YOUR CHICKENS TANIA!

At Brodie and Hunter's cockroach filled flat Brodie is putting the moves on Bella. They make out after she tells him that she text all her friends including her Great-Aunt Ginny and told them to make their way to the IV and ask for bartender Brodie. She really has NO eyebrows!

Anyway, they stick it to each other "The best I have ever had!" she proclaims while dancing around half dressed in the kitchen. They would have sweaty sex.

It is charge nurse naming time! Tania is all smug and Nicole tells the team that she has dropped out of contention. But wait! In a shock twist it is not Tania who is the new charge nurse


but good old meanie VASA



"Hey guys, didya miss me"

and Maxwell is all like this



OH NO! Now Maxwell will have to deal with his Vasa-lust! Will he nail her up against the nurses station at 1am on a late night shift? Or will be keep sticking it to Sarah in the depths of hell



Only time will tell!

OCTOBER 4: RETURNING AFTER ABSENCE

I haven't watched Shortland St in about a week. Oh man I love it when I don't watch Shortland St. But to be honest, I don't deserve the happiness.

Uh British guy wants Sapphic temptress Nicole, Bella wants Brodie, Brodie wants Sophie, Hunter made out with hot new surgeon Jennifer. Neat.

Immediately after kissing Hunter, Jennifer apologises repeatedly and starts weeping. Hot catch! She's all "I'm real bummed cause I lost a patient" so he puts on this bullshit "sensitive guy" thing to try and get into her clearly mentally imbalanced underwear

Brodie's taken Bella back to his shithole of an apartment, where she promptly sits on a slice of pizza. Then he's all "oh yeah actually I wanna stick it to Sophie". This episode, so far, is a lesson in smooth

Bella can't look anyone in the eyes, but it makes sense because Brodie seems to be wearing eyeliner.

Jesus, Jennifer's life sucks. She lost a kid and made out with a guy that looks like a Topp Twin and now she's gonna go chill by herself. But Nicole offers her a shoulder to cry on

Oh yeah Brodie's all "ciao Bella" to Bella as she leaves. Sweet scriptwriting, Shortland St!

Meanwhile, in the cafe, British guy is explaining time zones to Brooke, and for some reason, the concept of the international date line pisses her off a whole lot:



Anyway back at their dingy hellhole apartment, Hunter and Brodie are just chillin



It's pretty homoerotic. Hunter's all "oh hey remember that time we had that flatmate, and we both wanted to stick it to her, so I did, and then it turned out she killed a bunch of guys?" and Brodie's like "yeah also once I set a couch on fire, also I want to stick it to your sister now, remember how she seduced that guy and then he was all 'I'm not a creep' but actually he was a creep and then he stalked her? And now she owns a bar, inexplicably?"

It's a pretty great conversation.

Oh man, OnDemand has this ad for like coffeeware called "Bodum", after the sweet metal act Children of Bodum? That chimp DIGS ITTTTT

Scotty's promoted Nicole but he don't trust her, so he asks Tracey to spy for him. She kind of lurches toward him weirdly:



Bella's real perplexed as to why Brodie doesn't want her/Sophie messed her around:



It's definitely because she has no eyebrows.

Anyway Brooke cons her into leaving the office so she can steal some documents or something. I have no idea about her motivations, but I'm glad she's back to her usual sociopathic tricks.

Nicole then calls the nurse on the right in this picture a "creature of the night":



Hunter and Jennifer are in a lift, and reinvigorated by his shitty benchpress routine, he attempts to ask her out again. Then Callum comes in and is all "oh yeah this is my son also"

Bella then advises Sophie to get "old and fat" so she can ensnare Brodie in her womanly trap.

British guy seems to be angry at Nicole for leading him on when she's really all about the babes, and so I think he's sabotaging her nursing with Scotty or something? I think we're not meant to like this British guy, but to be honest I find him charming. Anyway Scotty is kind of mad at her a bit I guess. I don't know.

Oh man bald creepy doctor now wants Jennifer. Emotional instability is clearly the hot ticket among the hospital's hottest bachelors. Or at least the kind of bloated, pink-faced ones.

So Brodie asks out Bella again because he's real bummed I guess, and then she's all "nah I'm good" and he feels the infinite sadness:



Hunter persists in asking out Jennifer. She's like 40, and I think he's meant to be about 20? This is creepy and weird. I mean I know he stuck it to that middle aged woman before, but it was weird then and it's weird now. She must be pretty pissed off. Anyway she throws him off her track by telling him a story about how her negligent caregiving killed a kid. Aw yeah

Then there's this shitty argument between the nurses for seemingly no reason:



and Scotty is forced to hesitantly intervene, which he does in this weird stuttery overacting style, that I think is meant to convey his grasp on sanity is slipping. Or something. I don't know.

END CREDITS ROLL

oh it's almost time for tonight's episode

SEPTEMBER 29: SUMMER HOLIDAY

Have you ever listened to Cliff Richard's Living Doll? At one point, he mentions how he wants to like, bury the titular living doll in a trunk or something. Seriously weird vibes.

Anyway, tonight's show opens with dipshit-turned-bar manager Brodie potentially wooing a bunch of slurring businessmen. Oh hang on, actually Sophie owns the bar now? Yeah it's definitely a worthwhile move entrusting a bar to a journalist seductress weirdo. Also, there's this weird British guy who's just chilling in the bar marking snarky comments to Brodie about the businessmen the whole time? What is this shit

Oh yeah Sarah's real bummed because Daniel (who is not on the show) has been bitten by a snake or something



Anyway Tania's put on a sumptuous feast to try and seduce surgical hunk TK Samuels but TK's too concerned about Sarah's non-existent snake-ridden son, and doesn't turn up. Without telling here, because he's real smooth

Sophie's at the hospital and Callum asks her if she wants a lift to the IV. I've always been under the impression the IV is over the road from the hospital, what kind of shitty favour is that? Yeah dad thanks for wasting my time and yours

Turns out Daniel's been bitten by a snake called "blue viper" which sounds like a gay biker-themed stripper to me, but whatever. This incredibly exciting storyline is acted out entirely by Sarah and TK acting real hard into cellphones in some shitty dingy room

Back at the bar (which is over the road from the hospital) I think we're meant to assume a lot of time has passed, and now the cabal of businessmen are well drunk. That strange lone British man in a suit is still lurking around the bar for whatever reason and let me tell you, he is not impressed:



We see him go upstairs, while Brodie goes and gives the businessmen some more alcohol. The businessmen thank him for upselling him a hotel room upstairs, because that's what normal people do and give him a $50 note. Never mind these businessmen all look like they're fresh from appearing in district court on minor offence charges:



Look at that greedy creep in the middle. Fuck.

Sappic wisdom source Nicole is bagging on Tania and TK's sudden, shitty, inexplicable romance, and now Tania's all bummed. We know this, because Shortland Street's "sad music" plays.

The next scene opens with a look of pure distain from that horse-faced bartender extra:



She's grumpy about those drunken businessmen injecting some serious cash into the IV's coffers and she's not alone - that fucking British suit guy is back in the bar too for a glass of delicious water. I mean it's not like he's staying in a hotel room upstairs, where they have taps or anything. Jesus.

British guy is all "I thought you were closing" and Brodie's like "oh yeah I was" and British is all "MAKE YOUR DECISION". Jesus you British creep, no one asked for your opinion. Anyway, Brodie supplies the businessmen with three bottles of wine (BUT HE'S NOT A LICENSED WHOLESALER) and sends the delightful drunks out onto the streets. But of course, that British loser has something snarky to add.

But at least we get some sweet Brooke action in the next scene, as she advises Tania that TK's heart belongs to supple, supple Sarah, a fact she is clearly very proud of:



Ohman and now Sophie and Bella are best friends inexplicably and that fucking British suit guy is Bella's boss? And he's all "make me some spreadsheets" and she's freaking out because you know, she came on the show like last week or something and doesn't know how to to shit

She needs eyebrows, but more importantly check out Sophie's sweet top in the background



Anyway it seems this British guy (his name is Leo, it conspires) has inspired a chilling vendetta in Sophie, who decides it's totally her place to take that sucker down

Those businessmen make their chilling return, this time in stretchers at the hospital. Remember don't drink!

Sophie has mixed feelings about Brodie's management skills:



If British guy hates the IV bar so much why is he always there? Then Sophie does this real weird bit where she does some strange girlish giggle, then stony seriousness in the space of about two seconds. Why?




Actually the one where she's laughing looks more like she's grimacing in pain but you know, she is on Shortland Street.



Sophie goes snooping on Bella's behalf and finds Leo's real into Sudoku. But only easy level, because he's a fucking dipshit. Also, there have been like three Sophie scenes in a row at this point, and since when did she become such a heavy hitter?

Meanwhile TK and Tania's bumbling romance continues as she tells him their dinner date won't be anticlimactic - instead, it will be "extremely climactic" LOL DOUBLE SEQUITUR

British guy is all appalled at the businessmen's presence in the hospital, and sees his chance - he pounces at Callum, telling him his 18-year-old daughter who owns a bar is somewhat irresponsible GUUHHHHH

Anyway Callum goes and gets in a grump at Sophie and stuff. Wish I could go around yelling at barely legal bar managers.

Tania and TK's hot dinner date is going well. She's all "that was delicious" and he's like "wait till you see what I've got for you next.." and then lowers his voice real husky and is like "DESSERT" and I guess it's meant to make the ladies swoon, but it's actually incredibly threatening and creepy

Thankfully, dessert never happens, courtesy of an appopriately-timed phone call from Sarah, who looms large even though she's in Indonesia looking after her failed son and his "blue viper" woes.

And Tania's just thrilled about the phonecall for whatever reason



But not so thrilled, because she promptly dumps TK as soon as he's off the phone. No dessert!

TK looks predictably smouldering, hungry for dessert all the same.



Anyway the episode ends here and now I'm just gonna copy and paste some wisdom, courtesy of the actor who plays Sophie's Twitter:

Ballet with my mummy!

Feeling inspired.. Reading a mag with bikinis in it... Does this mean I can get excited for Summer .. Too late I am.. Bikini shopping!!

Sooooooooo full ... Indian takeaways for dinner! Yum .. Need Green tea please!!

OH HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS THIS