OCTOBER 15: DESPERATION SETS IN

TTOOBBIIAASS

First up, thanks to whoever found this blog by googling "bitchy whore". We're sorry you didn't stay longer, but I hope you found what you were looking for anyway.

Last time on Shortland St, Bella accidentally sent off a press release about British guy, who it conspired was actually an imposter, and how he defrauded the hospital and stole $200,000 or something. And now the media is having a field day

Tonight's show starts with Hunter asking Brodie, who looks more like what Jerry Seinfeld would call an "orgy guy" with every passing day, to stop sticking to Bella so loud all night.



Anyway then Callum shows us the offending email which has alerted the nation's media to the British theft. I can guarantee you any journalist who got this would take one look and immediately think "fuck this I'm not reading that":



Also, I love how it's been (poorly) written out in full, even though it's only onscreen for like a second. Whoever had to write that has clearly made the big time

Anyway Callum's pretty grumpy at Bella about the whole affair, and she gets demoted to front desk OH HO HO

Now Isaac's whinging that he doesn't have enough money to make ends meet. This is pretty offensive, I mean he's a surgeon at a private clinic who stays for free at his brother's apparently enormous mansion. What?

Uh, Sarah's unhappy about Vasa's nursing practices or something, there's an unreasonably long shot of her smouldering gaze

Bella relates her story to Wendy, and tells her the headline on today's paper reads "idiot PA sends out wrong press release, loses job". Which probably wouldn't actually be in a newspaper in real life



Isaac has realised if he sucks he will be forced to work overtime, and earn some more sweet cash. Shortland St is here sowing the seeds for what is sure to be an unbearably shitty storyline

Now it turns out Bella sent out the wrong email because Brodie was distracting her, so Wendy takes it upon herself to physically push both Brodie and Bella into a room and yell at them:



and seriously, Brodie must be wondering what the hell he's gotten into. They're grown adults, and his girlfriend's shrill mother is yelling at him and telling him what to do? Jesus Christ, what a fucking overbearing bitch

Now Hunter's being all "oh yeah I'm almost a doctor" and acting like a smug dick all over ED and telling TK how to do things. TK is all "you're keen, also you look like a lesbian"

Can't tell if he looks more like Camp Mother or Camp Leader but Tracey DIGS IT



Callum's having a real good day, made better by Brooke:





Probably the best part about Shortland St is the extras they get to play patients. It's like they just wheel in the craziest people off the street and tell them they need to holler a bit, or something

Anyway Sarah and Vasa are still arguing about shit

Dr creepy bald glasses is onto Isaac's waste time - get paid overtime plan, so Isaac tries to throw him off by becoming all blurry and flashing chilling grimaces:



NEW PLOT POINT: HUNTER IS SLEEPY. still lesbian

Oh yeah also Callum's planning on taking the hit for the British guy fiasco on Rachel's behalf. I'm guessing he doesn't know she secretly wants to stick it to Chris ho ho ho

In an unbelievably shitty piece of direction, the new PA temp introduces a brand new character, who is clearly visible waiting to enter the scene, it's pretty great. Callum greets him by moving in for a kiss or something:



Anyway it turns out this new guy is from the DHB who didn't know about the guy stealing hospital money? What the shit? Surely the health board would be first to know/wouldn't get all their hot information from the newspapers? I hope the DHB got a serious shakeup in last week's local body elections, is all I have to say

Anyway the new guy looks pretty evil, and if you're an evil-looking person you can only either be a villain or an actor

PLOT POINT: HUNTER IS STUDYING FOR EXAMS, SLEEPY, LESBIAN

Then Sarah takes a phone call:



Everyone in this show listens to the worst music imaginable in their homes

Isaac uses cheese on toast as a signifier of poverty, but jesus has he seen the price of cheese lately? Dick. Then he repeatedly demands Brooke "put on something hot" to "go out"

Scotty wants Hunter's almost-doctor services in ED, but Hunter is sleepy!!!

Oh what the hell is this, now Sarah's having a conversation with Callum, and I am not kidding, this is actual dialogue:

[Callum offers Sarah whiskey]
Sarah: No thanks
Callum: Oh of course, I forgot, you have MS. You make it easy to forget
Sarah: I'm just lucky that my symptoms haven't been too severe and I've had long periods where I'm symptom-free, like now

WHAT THE FUCK

It's like they were like "oh we have a Sarah MS storyline coming up, let's shoehorn in the worst, most obvious exposition ever to remind viewers of her actually pretty horrible disease"

Also, Callum got suspended

Also, Hunter fell asleep on the job, and someone called Dylan might be dead, so he calls for help:



BUT IT'S TOO LATEEE and Scotty's pretty grumpy

ROLL CREDITS