It's lucky for you readers that being happy makes me uncomfortable. Happiness means I've reached a pinnacle, and the only place one can go from the top is downhill. This is my downhill. This is Shortland Street.
There's a lot to catch up on since last time I blogged about the show. Basically, Sophie's still bummed about ruining two peoples' lives in one swoop, there's some kind of subterfuge going on regarding some hot new "2IC" position at the hospital, and as predicted a few weeks ago, Sarah's MS has reared its ugly head once more.
... and we're off to a flying start. I'm greeted back from my Shortland Street hiatus with this face:
as Tania helpfully reminds us that it's Guy Fawkes Day. It's worth noting she's one of those cretins that pronounces "yes" with a U instead of an E.
Sarah's been offered an MS-specific job in Boston, and tells Daniel (and the audience) all about it. I saw Daniel on the street last night. The actor, I mean. He probably wasn't in character. He was wearing a rather fabulous scarf.
Because TK's a god damned creep, he's doing some pretty intense research into Sarah's new job. Remember how they broke up for seemingly no reason whatsoever? Yeah I bet that storyline's about to be reintroduced.
For whatever reason, Callum is helming an angry meeting between Brodie and smouldering new bar manager Murray:
It mostly consists of the two yelling about some bullshit while Callum moves his mouth around, like a camel chewing or something.
Then some weird yellow-haired old lady makes her acting debut in the foreground of this strangely framed scene, where creepy glasses doctor buys Tania a snack from the cafe:
Sophie's just chilling around the hospital being a massive downer to everyone she meets. All ruining Bella's day and so on. Callum's grumpy about the bar. Then Sophie does some serious sad-sack acting
Creepy glasses bald doctor gets Tania's keys out of her car via taxidermy tools, somehow? Aren't most car locks electronic these days? Pretty sure you can't open them with scalpels and tweezers, but it works all the same. Tania's real impressed, and this is one of those moments where I wish I could post video clips because usually Tania actor's pretty coy, doesn't want to overdo things, but she really throws herself into her amazement of glasses doctor's lock picking skill:
We cut to the IV bar, where creepy bald glasses doctor wants a lime and soda. Hunter, out of nowhere, yells "COOL!" and then we learn that glasses doctor's brother Rafael (seriously?) is an "Indiana Jones styles" hot-air balloonist who is going to break some kind of record. I hope this means we get a dashing new character?
Then Callum strolls in and announces he's taking over running of the bar from Sophie. Which is probably good, because I don't think 18 year olds should own bars, and it's entirely appropriate for hospital CEOs to moonlight as pub managers.
Sarah sees TK coming into her office, and is thrilled because she wants to eat him:
Then TK's all, "oh yeah babe that job you want, the people who run it are from Scott-Speir". Remember that? It's okay if you don't, because it's a storyline that finished like FIVE YEARS AGO. Jesus Christ.
Doctor creepy glasses' ballooneering brother is being rushed to hospital with "serious injuries". Which I think means "broken leg". Life or death stuff!
Pretty sure every character's first scene should involve them lying down and screaming into an oxygen mask:
Sarah then reminds Daniel (and the audience) of that dreadfully shitty Scott-Spier storyline, which seems to have been just a bunch of middle-aged minor characters suffering car bombs. Apparently they killed foetus-faced temptress Toni too? Didn't she die like two years later of a mystery disease?
Anyway then Daniel reintroduces the TK/Sarah love connection storyline, but says there's "no way" TK still loves Sarah - "not after what you did to him". I'm not sure what she did to him, but that's not a very nice thing to say to your mother.
Back at the bar, Brodie says he and Murray need to come up with a new, wholly original idea. Something no one else is doing. His idea? Turn the IV into a sports bar. Fuck.
OnDemand is running this awful ad, which is all "in a perfect world, everything would be free and ATMs would be infinite money dispensers." Pretty sure if everything were free, money would be totally useless. This is bullshit, BNZ!
The guy who's offering Sarah her job barely even opens his mouth when he talks, also he thinks it's okay to be employed by murderers because he's "a great believer in thinking laterally". Well, as long as he's morally consistent, I'm happy.
Isaac's operating on hot new Rafael's foot, while creepy glasses doctor watches, constantly yelling at him.
Rachel decides to console Sophie, who's still really depressed about some bullshit. Sophie uses the phrase "epic fail". Rachel is all "I was like you when I was a kid, I ran around doing a whole heap of things" and I'm serious, that's an actual line of dialogue. I hope that if I ever find myself depressed, I have someone like her to turn my life around.
Rachel's hot solution to Sophie's unbridled misery is a job at the hospital. I love how characters' lives in this show are entirely dedicated to the same four or so sets
You know what's weird? Adam's apples. I wonder what they look like, I mean, under the skin and stuff.
oh I can see where this plotline is going. Creepy glasses doctor and his brother Rafael are gonna be all competing for Tania's shitty affections. Oh hang on a minute, Rafael just asked for Tania's hand in marriage. Way to make a splash!
And that's our show. God, I hate myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment