More important people to know and hate

THE BOYS:

(the lads, the bros, the guys, the meat)

T.K is arguably the leader of this "wolf pack". He is all muscley and glistening and sometimes he gets angry and yells in a really strong maori accent. Oh, he is spiritual too and wanted to have a baby with Sarah Potts who has MS! But she didn't want to or something and instead she went and started having wild MS sex with Maxwell! Other hunky brown doctor! They came to blows and stuff happened but I barely remember. There was a lot of yelling and TK got to stick it to Brooke for a while all animal like against walls. She tried to entrap him in a pregnancy by poking holes in condoms but instead just knocked up Sarah's son Daniel's girlfriend ...Lauren! Luckily she left the show. She was awful. Anyway, TK is now single and about to embark on a torrid love affair with sexy minx Tania. It will be pretty boring I think but oh well, he has to be doing someone. Somone that dreamy wouldn't be single for long! am I right girls? ? ?. I read a magazine article about him in the staff room and he states that he is really into "the gym" and "his abs" or something. Anyway, that's TK. He is the number one stud and really hasn't had a lot to do lately so Tania will do I guess.

MAXWELL
Maxwell is currently playing nice with Sarah but this is barely worth mentioning because the absolute pinnacle of Maxwell's shortland street performances is his "fight with the christmas tree 09". Maxwell is a chronic gambler and also sucks at being married and also he was cuckolded by his shrill wife for 9 years. Then he thought he would see his kid at christmas and he got the place all gussied up BUT THEN mean wife cancelled and Maxwell saw red. He beat the shit out of a christmas tree and then Brooke or Libby walked in and was all "ohhh...I am just looking for an extension cord or something...I think I will go now....". It was THE BEST shortland street scene in existance.


Here he is! Merry Christmas!!!!

The writers should be utilising A LOT more of his tree kicking abilities. They don't understand how to write for an actor who can kick a tree like that. Amateurs.





OKAY! OH CALLUM!
He is the boss. He got with Rachel after she was arrested for running down boring character Morgan. He thought "why! a woman who drunkenly mows down a nurse/incubator for triplets/intended Joey murder victim, she is surely the one for me!". He did MARRY that awful woman character whose name slips my memory though. You know, the one who boned Chris then got shot? oh wait, not got shot but moved to Australia because of Craig's killer's being after her? Was that storyline ever resolved? JUSTINE, that's her name.

Anyway, Callum is much much better than Justine.

For one, he has a full head of grey hair. He is a silver fox! And he ALWAYS wears suits. He also has a daughter, Sophie and a son, Hunter. Toby thinks that Hunter looks like a middle aged lesbian. I can't really disagree.

Anyway, Callum used to be my favourite character because he was funny and the actor had this bizarre way of speaking and of interpreting his lines. It was definately good. Anyway, now he does far less and is more boring. He needs to have some omph put into his storyline. Maybe he could become the next serial killer or maybe he could cut Chris' face off witha scalpel and masquerade as him completely taking over his life and keeping Chris faceless in the basement surviving on only 30 year old aged wine and cheese boards.

Ummmm...who else?

Oh Scotty!

He is the head nurse and he used to be in the army! When he first started he was all icy cold and mean but then indian temptress Shanti melted his cold disciplined heart with some hot indian food and loving. Eventually she died of a deadly illness and also maybe an ectopic pregnancy. Regardless she is dead. Which is good for Scotty because now he is getting up close and personal with ex-cop TRACEY. They are perfect for each other because both of their brothers are criminals. There is not much to say about her except that she has a smug smile. Neither character has had any good storylines recently and I don't think they even care. They should proabably watch out though because based on my keen eye Shanti will soon be back in the picture, evidenced by her dogged refusal to stop haunting the opening credits. Mark my words Scotty and Tracey, there will be hell to pay when Shanti comes crawling up from the grave!