Vasa is a slutty tramp and other stories

Welcome! There is a new old bag on the scene and her name is Isaac's mother. She is a snobby, snooty bitch and reminds me of an old 90s character who would hang out with Rachel McKenna's dad drinking champagne and instigating affairs.



Anyway, Isaac's mother has had a bad experience with Brooke's hustler father and Brooke is all nervous about her finding out that she is actually Brooke Marsden not Brooke Freeman.

At the hospital all the nurses are buzzing with the news that Vasa is now their boss again. Vasa is buzzing with the potentially Maxwell-humping position she has maneuvered herself into. Vasa is all hitting on Maxwell "I thought you'd be happy, I am, for various reasons" wink wink. God she is a shameful hussy! Sarah is going to be so mad!



Back at the crappiest bar in town Brodie is all happy and Sophie doesn't like it. He is all "oh yeah it was my fault Bella stood up her girlfriends last night cos she stayed over at my place HOT SEX"



Check out Sophie's dead eyes!

Brodie is all "oh it was GREAT" and Sophie doesn't like this (maybe because she still likes him or maybe because it is pretty disgusting imaging him having copious amounts of sex with Bella) and she makes this face



"Gross TMI" she says baffling about 80% of the Shortland Street middle aged ladies audience.

In walks old lady Worthington with Isaac. She LOVES Brooke BUT she doesn't know yet that Brooke's old man is a big con artist. Old Lady looks like this



Meanwhile, Tracey is whining to Scotty about his appointment of Vasa as king nurse. He doesn't really care about her opinion. He gives her this sexy kiss


She digs it. Clearly.

In the lift Isaac woos Brooke. I understand why too, look at her! She is so adorable!



In the staff room Maxwell breaks the news to Sarah that Vasa is here to stay.




That's pretty much how I feel about this Vasa return too.

Maxwell and Ula have this super long super close embrace in the hospital cafe while nerd daughter, Sarah and Wendynurse look on.



After the uncomfortably long hug Ula gifts Sarah with a pity gift,

Sarah: "Ah! The Poly Soles!"
Ula: "Yeah, they're pretty fresh"

SWEET.

Ula, it conspires, only gave Sarah the gift of Poly Soles because she feels bad that soon Maxwell will dump poor old MS Sarah and take up with hotshot Vasa. Sarah, overhearing this storms off to confront Vasa! Sarah demands, in a very highly developed code that Vasa set "ULA" straight about the whole Maxwell/Vasa future sex love sounds thing and that "ULA" shouldn't get her hopes up because Maxwell and Sarah are planning a holiday and she doesn't want things with "ULA" to get messy.


"we are planning a HOLIDAY"

Vasa doesn't like that one god damned poly sole bit



SARAH VASA WAR!!!

Over at the Bug Bar that smarmy prick of a bar manager is busy pimping out various customers for TK's enjoyment. "Here are a couple of hunnies now!" and in walk Nicole and Tania. I don't know what happened between TK and Tania? I guess they broke up? I should probably find out. I am going to assume she didn't like the cut of his jib and dumped his fine arse. Anyway, Smug Bar manager introduces TK to some extra woman who of course, as all small speaking part extras do, puts on a terrible American accent for no reason what-so-ever. TK does his TK thing and is all "can I buy you a drink, sexy". Tania sits in the corner wondering what TK would look like smothered in butter and spreadeagled on her bed.

The Bug Bar is clearly the new hot spot because now Isaac and Brooke are here! They make out in front of the smug prick bar guy and then proceed to have a huge fight because Brooke won't stop oogling piece of meat TK. They take the fight back to Brooke's place where, surprise surprise, a screaming match ends in big make out. This whole sexy fight bit is completely overplayed, I know for a FACT that never have I been in an all out verbal assault with someone only to realise mid scream that I actually want to stick it to my opponent. Anyway, the crappy romantic music plays and we go to ad break. I think Isaac and Brooke should get married though. They are kind of perfect for each other- They both make stupid facial expressions and enjoy running through money like no one's business.




IMAGINE THEIR CHILDREN?!?!

ANYWAY Brooke breaks it to old lady Worthington that her father is Grant Marsden and old lady is all "EW! YUCKS" but otherwise still likes Brooke! Good going Brooke! But wait! The course of true love doesn't run smooth! Old lady Worthington overhears Nicole and Tania having a bitchfest about how Brooke is a gold digging whore in one of the worst directed/written scenes I have ever seen. Now old lady doesn't like Brooke and wants her to get her tiny hands out of the family coffers! She promptly cuts Isaac off from the trust fund (he can only have the money once uncle Gareth or something okays it). This plot speaks to us all really, I know there have been some hairy times where my over bearing mother has stepped in to stop me spending tens of thousands on race horses and has ruined my party on a yacht plans feat. foie gras and caviar. I've been there, I feel ya Isaac.

Meanwhile, again at the nurse's station, Maxwell and Sarah have a spat about Sarah's previous Vasa lecture. Maxwell wants Sarah to keep her sticky beak out of it and Vasa lurks around the corner, oh so glad anticipating her inevitable conquest of Maxwell Mountain.

Maxwell confronts Vasa in the staff room about how they have some sexual tension but she should forget it cos he's happy sticking it to Sarah for the time being. Vasa is all "oh no! There are cracks there! And when they get so big there's no going back, you know where I'll be. Here. Waiting". THAT HUSSY!

FINALLY back at Chris house (where is Chris by the way? I guess he too is on ANNUAL LEAVE) old lady Worthington is laying down the law to Isaac about the whole money situation. She tells him his "spendthrift days are over". And you know, if me of like 2 months ago was told this I would be pleased because up until then I thought that "spendthrift" meant someone who scrimps and saves. That's what is sounds like right!?!? But no. Isaac is more educated than me and he knows what the word means.



And there we have it. The nation, caught up in the classic/everyman problem of what to do when your stinking rich family makes you live on just your surgeon's salary. Jeez! I hope he makes it! GST went up you know!