AUGUST 20 EPISODE

Hi I'm Tobias and I'm making my gruesome return to blogging about Shortland Street. I hate myself. Also I haven't watched this show in more than a week, but you know. Probably going to be easy enough to pick up


LAST TIME ON SHORTLAND STREET

Scotty was angry, has enormous mouth:


And that's all that happened.

Fabulous CEO Callum's talking about launching something next week on the telephone, while charming gremlin Rachel cravenly whispers negative thoughts at him. Rachel totally sucks and says the word "signs" like 400 times in one sentence. Then things get weird:



And the two decide they'll take a couple of days off. Great!

Maia and Vasa seem to have taken Scotty hostage in the break room, who hilariously calls Maia a "crazy dyke". God this show rules. Callum gets all sensitive and tries to placate our oddball simian friend

Chris' stupid son stumbles in with his new school uniform, everyone laughs at him. oh god what a bunch of pricks this scene is so awkward and stilted. Also it's first thing in the morning before school, so why's Isaac drinking beer? what?

Sarah's giving Scotty a once-over for "crazy". PROGNOSIS... NEGATIVE

Really not in the mood for this, so I'm just going to present a series of screen grabs with occasional plot points from now on:





Meanwhile Callum and Rachel are in some kind of bach. I hope someone murders them

HELLO NOW ITS GABRIELLE!

Toby couldn't take any more of this so now I am taking control!

SO Scotty is at home being all sick and talking to Tracey on the phone

There is a knock at the door, "Babe I've gotta go there's someone at the door"

It's Penny with some poison. She delivers a "bugblaster" drink she made and finds out that Scotty is having tests done. I guess now she is going to have to go and mess with the tests. I wish this storyline would progress.

Callum and Rachel are at the bach. There is some boring storyline about her liking her laptop more than sticking it to Callum in the shower. He catches her using her laptop and this is the face she makes



AND THEN CALLUM PUTS HER PHONE BATTERY IN HER ORANGE JUICE!!!!

Callum and Rachel are having lusty times in an outdoor bath BUT there has been an outbreak of some disease and Chris is trying to get hold of them! BUT HE CAN'T!!!!

And that's the end of the episode! PLEASE HIRE SOME NEW WRITERS SHORTLAND STREET!