Time to wake up Nana, TK is back in town!

GUYS GUESS WHO HAS MADE HIS SUPER SPUNK RETURN? Dr. TK! aka Dr. Too Kute for those so inclined. He of the dark and brooding recent past and the tendency to be topless and yell in a really Maori accent. TK, THE GIFT, Samuels.



See Tania and TK kind of almost had a thing a few months ago and then they both went away for some scheduled leave or something and then Tania came back and then she rekissed Isaac and then 2 seconds later TK waltzes into the staff room "Oh hi! ignore me! I'm not here" and Tania is all "OH NO! I AM TWO SECONDS TOO HORNY TO NAB TK! DAMN ME AND MY RAMPANT DESIRES!". She isn't even working at the hospital and she is making out in the staff room! That lady thinks she owns the place! And now she is hanging out on reception like THIS



That is not only culturally inappropriate but also this is a hospital! What will happen if Rachel, or god forbid that Nugent guy from the DHB sees this! There will be hell to pay and no amount of TK charm will help!

Anyway, Tania has no life and so she hangs around the hospital and TK shows up all "Kia Ora" and he has his charm turned up to level "SMOKING" as he laughs and purrs and makes all the ladies swoon. Then Tania leaves with Isaac and he watches her leave like this



He will be sticking it to her up against walls within the week.

Some boring crap with Sarah and an old man with a TK obsession and blood in his stool. Nice.

Scotty and TK stroll into the IV and Scotty has just finished explaining how he was almost slain multiple times by a serial killer. TK seems nonplussed. Many and varied lustful looks between Tania and TK and suspicious glares from Isaac.

Old man bloody stool stumbles into reception. Seems he shouldn't have been so insistent on seeing TK given that he is dying from bloody stool.



There is some new hot shot she-doctor in town who is doing hand surgery with Chris. They joke about how they both used to do plastic surgery and are rich "ho ho ho we each own one of the moons of saturn" etc. Chris likes what he sees I think. He wants to do some overnight surgery on her, if you know what I mean!

But wait! This new doctor might be some kind of hand surgery botcher, Chris is all "We need to find out whoever did that last surgery! They shouldn't be working!" and hot shot is all "Oh that's a delicate situation, he is a colleague" and what she really means is "That is me. I suck a lot. Bowh-woah now I will never lay my head in the crotch of Dr. Love and roast dollar bills on an open fire".

Oh look Taylor Swift is on tv. Some song about a girl who loves a boy and she sings a chorus from the girls point of view then at the end of the song the guy sings it from his point of view but in her voice. You know, all of the songs. Still, she's better than that trainwreck Miley Cyrus. This is off-topic.

So TK is showing Isaac photos of a marae on his computer and then OH NO photos of Sarah and TK's wedding pop up! SHAME TK! Then the woman herself scurries in



TK and Sarah leave to discuss wheelchair bound supernurse Tane and Isaac looks devious and fiddles around on the computer doing something with the wedding album. I guess he wants TK and Sarah back together so Tania is free to go on helicopter rides with him?

Chris and that hot shot woman are discussing shit in the corridor. Turns out that she actually didn't do the crappy operation but her ex-husband JIM did and they have the same initials and last name and oh no big misunderstanding! Although Chris doesn't actually check out the veracity of this statement and is just all sad and like this



Every minute of philandering and pinot grigio drinking shows on his face. Jpeg title "oldasfuck"

Oh Shortland street you are so lazy with your plots! Just minutes ago Isaac did the wedding computer thingee and now Maxwell is being sent into TK's empty office to search for random missing files. Plot holes are glossed over: Maxwell: "Why send the files to TK he's not even here!" Maia: "Oh yeah, a nurse got a bit lost and he said that he would hold them" or some wildly fabricated shit. The writers clearly think the audience have the collective memory of a goldfish because this JUST HAPPENED. Drag it out a bit! At least pretend to make sense. But no, Maxwell is sent off to TK's office to inevitably stumble across photos of TK and Sarah from the wedding as the desktop background or some crap. Better that though than homemade Sarah/TK porn. You know that exists. Maybe even scat play.

Then it gets even more ridiculous. Isaac is all "oh hey babe, let's have coffee" and Tania is like "I can't I'm working!" and then Maia is like "nah go, its not like there are patients here or anything!" and so Isaac and Tania amble off BUT then Isaac, remembering that this storyline needs multiple ridiculous characters to play out right, is all "OH NO! My files, they too are in TK's office" and so Tania AND Maxwell AND Isaac all hurry off to the stupid culmination of this storyline.

BUT WAIT! Maxwell is getting the files and sees the screensaver slideshow of TK/Sarah lovefest and is all "fuck this shit" AND THEN TK AND SARAH COME IN! Maxwell is all "NICE SLIDESHOW DICKFACE" and then runs out. In the hall they have a short screaming match and, just on time, Isaac and Tania are there, WHO WON'T BE IN THIS SCENE?



TK is all "argh", Sarah is like "OH MAXWELL COME BACK!" and Maxwell is all "NICE TO SEE HE IS AS STUCK IN THE PAST AS YOU!". Isaac and Tania are all "oh this is awkward!" and then Isaac is like "if you want to dump me then do it now!" but Tania, having seen the apparent sick Sarah obsession of TK (a slideshow! you creep!) decides to stick with Mr Moneybags.

She makes her sexy face.



Isaac is smug. He is the cat that got the Tania



Despite the fact that we are clearly meant to think that Isaac nefariously devised this plan to get this very result I really don't see how he could possibly have planned this. Apart from the slideshow how could he manage to wrangle all these people together to culminate in this awesome angry off? In Isaac's plan the most likely result was really that TK would come back to his desk, go on his computer, see the wedding photos, be all "GOD MY HAIR IS GROSS LONG" promptly change his settings back and do some press ups. I just don't buy this one bit. Shortland street, stop trying to sell us this baloney.