Try harder, everyone!

Tonight's episode sucked. I can't be bothered going into all the details here so I will do my best to cover the main stuff then go off to do more interesting things like the dishes.

Blah blah supremely boring crap with glasses doctor who was once a serious contender for ferndale stranglerhood and Isaac.

Boring crap with Vasa, Nicole and Wendy.

Wendy does lots of this



Ula tried to kiss Phoenix and he didn't want a bar of it so now Ula goes around staring rumours that Phoenix is gay and "has the hots for Evan". Jazzmaggot is all "OH NO!" and Ula is like "OH YES!" and this is not very progressive.

There is a meeting between Isaac, Chris, glasses and Callum. Callum and Chris yell at Isaac, things like "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?" and "DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!". Its kinda hot.

Maybe Callum and Chris should be a couple? They have a lot of fire in their bellies and maybe I could see it working out?

Ad about smear tests. Sweet.

More boring crap with Vasa, Nicole and Sarah. Not worth commenting on.

Jazzmaggot, Evan and Ula are all hanging out now, they are friends suddenly, and Jazzmaggot is all "hey Ula! You were SOOOOO right, Phoenix is SOOOO gay". Ula is like (gulp!) "How do you know?" and Jazzmaggot is all "Oh I asked him if it was weird that a character in my book only has friends who are girls and he said yes because he understands guys better and that is conclusive proof that he is gay" (paraphrased). That's like the worst proof ever. Stupid Jazzmaggot.

Then Phoenix is all "hey Evan bring over your homework and we can do it together" and all Evan seems to hear is "we can do it together" and he runs off terrified. Because being gay is terrifying guys!

Ula is regretting her mean spirited lies but the gay lie is totally going for gold and there is no taking it back now! Phoenix is leaving the cafe when two tiny little bullies are all "hey! we hate queers!" and shove him.

Then Evan shows up and is all "Leave him Kurt!" and then Kurts friend Kevin says "Defending your boyfriend!" and then Evan is all "Like you can talk Kevin, you nancy boy" and Phoenix (who is like honestly 7 feet tall compared to these tiny men) is all "They ain't worth it Evan" but Evan is all "I bet this one (Kevin) is just dying to come of the closet but he's too dumb to find the door handle" and then Kevin is all "Say that outside!" and Evan is like "ok!" and they all leave to have a big fight outside. Phoenix grabs Evan is says "They're gonna bash you man" and Evan is all hopped up on rage and homophobia and is like "They can try!". This is kind of confusing. He wants to beat up Kevin and Kurt for being homophobic to Phoenix but then Evan is all calling Kevin and Kurt nancy boys and in-the-closet and I don't really understand who I am meant to be supporting. Maybe no one. I think maybe Evan is gay? And this rumour storyline is going to get really serious soon? It has been a while since there has been a male gay character on Shortland Street so I think now could be a good time to sort out the diversity issues?

Phoenix and Evan return back to the fancy Chris house and Evan is sporting some bleeding knuckles and they are high on the blood fever, Evan landed a punch and "those meatheads ran!". Sweet. Phoenix goes to grab some plasters and Evan tells Isaac that Phoenix "likes boys". Isaac makes this face



I think he is really happy that Phoenix is gay? I think because he wants to hurt Chris? I don't think I approve of the underlying message of this episode at all!

Nothing else interesting happens. Maxwell and Vasa fight. Isaac says "attempted gay bashing: apparently Phoenix is out and proud" and Chris is all "oh. :( " once again, not liking this theme.

I saw on the tvnz website that ANOTHER fucking Cooper is coming to town, this time Wendy nurse's daughter "Bella". She will be a happy-go-lucky receptionist who is recently single and ready to mingle (maybe with Phoenix? maybe with Luke Durville). I really hate that the Coopers have become the family of the show. Jazzmaggot, Evan, Wendy, the elusive Murray and now Bella? too much boring/wooden acting/crazy eyes for a half an hour timeslot.

I think Libby might be coming back tomorrow though? GOD I HOPE SO! She needs to regain her spot as Gerald's main lady and give Brooke room for some better storylines as opposed to her recent "girl who fights for Gerald's desk rights" scripts.